that door

walking down a one-way corridor...

following every step that is given ahead, moving on whichever way the path leads.

a quiet, dim corridor.

just me alone walking down the corridor.

the thought of walking down the lifeless path gave me the shivers.

with every step forward, I pray to see a beam of light, slowly emerging from a door, an exit at the side of the corridor.

I caught a glimpse of the door.

so eagerly, I quickened my pace.

so excitedly, I walked on faster and faster till I could see it.

so wanting to reach it.

but as I got nearer, the light became fainter and fainter.

fading away.

till I could find the light no more.

was it just an imaginary door?

for an instant, my heart sank as I dragged my feet along the corridor.

I felt so lost in a one-way corridor.

Even though the next step was just a step away, following whichever the path was leading me, I was even more lost.

that imaginary door.

that beam of light.

that wanting to find it, that wanting to reach it - gives me all the strength and direction that I would ever know in my life.



always feeling that the door might be just another step away, I keep on looking and hoping.

It might be just be a step away.

Celebrate french 2008

29 Mars

Eh bien. Cette année pour la fête de la francophonie, au départ, j’étais un peu deçue parce qu’il n y avait pas beacuoup de personnes qui étaient enthousiaste pour la fête sauf moi et, peut-être moi seulement. Oui, et probablement mon professeur de la classe de chants – la raison que nous avons presenté une chanson française pendant le Runme Shaw Cup cette année, devant de l’ambassadeur de la france et quelques invités d’honneur! J’avais très hâte, mais un peu trop hâte parce qu'il m'a rendu un peu trop nerveuse aussi.

Pourtant, je suis fiere de moi-même parce que j’ai une partie dans la fête encore, et comme le directeur a dit, nous faisons la joie at la fierté de l’alliance!

Voici la video de notre représentation:





19 April - Nuit Blanche @ Fort Canning

This year's party brought a mix of reactions.

The francophonie mood dipped a little due to its detachment from the earlier event.

Being really busy the days before dealing with the extremes of human emotions, may have resulted in my mixed mood before the event.

The only slight change in mood was the last minute turn up of three other classmates who decided to join our intial foursome this night.

From my learned experience based on last year's event where being late was just not a very clever thing to do, we arranged to meet up early. And if party in a park does really suggest to me of anything like the beach party last year, I was very wrong. For the first thing when I stepped into the venue, I realised I was in a rather awkward dresscode - in my pair of white shorts reserved for outdoor party.

Okay, okay... another party taboo this year.

But you see, everyone else was not quite coordinated in what to wear for the party either.

We were greeted by two french boys at a reception to sign the 'guestbook' which made a rather formal entry... till the french boy offered a pink stamp on the hand - those stamps you received for entry to party places - except this was coloured and pink, not forgetting it bore the face of a Frog Prince (?!) too.

Then we found ourselves in a white spacious function room with restaurant dining setup. Okay me in my pair of white shorts was really out of place.

So yes the mixed atmosphere was everywhere till we settled ourselves at the dining table.

Comparatively, this year's serving of food was remarkably better... we had scallops, quiches, salmon tapas, baked potatoes, crepes with peking duck, lamb & beef cuts, ice cream with crumble, etc. One great thing about the company I had this year was that we all love good food and wine - we had two bottles of Petit Chablis which became my favourite white wine at the moment. Some table games were incorporated to engage the people in the party but I, however, had no idea whatsoever about TV series and celebrities. So, count me out.

Yes, the food was fantastic. Other than that, those small talks at the table did not make up decent conversation to me.

Music and dance crowd was good but I was not quite in the right company.

In some ways, last year's party was much better. Probably cos of the friends I was with last year and the live French band which brought great atmosphere at the beach party last year.

seeking or not seeking

"very often, the answer comes to us when we stop looking for it," a friend said when she found love when she least expected it.

In the secret chamber of her heart, she probably has been quietly hoping for him to appear, even in the least expected places.

So the answer comes to us when we still seek it, just that timing often has its own plan.

It had been a dramatic past year when I saw opportunities and dreams bypassed me. It was difficult but I learned to let go and move on. Not really. I did let go of the opportunity but I didn't let go of my dreams. I just went on thinking that I can get it back one day.

And it came.

One year later.

I was ecstatic. It didn't really matter if I succeeded. I just felt really good having the chance that I once had to give up so unwillingly. At least, I gave a shot at it. The rest is up to luck and other external causes. I've fufilled my inner cause and that is enough for me.

Probably, just probably, I wil get to live this dream.

Though I have to trade my secure and existing routine for a short-term once in a lifetime experience, my instinct is nodding to it.

a little afraid but it's a time to step out of my comfort zone and be there.

still keeping my fingers crossed...