still, can't say "I do"

The story of the runaway bride...

They were engaged; papers signed, vows exchanged.

Yet a week before the wedding day, the bride cancelled the wedding. She couldn't bring herself to say 'I do'. It wasn't because of the man she was getting married to. He is, in fact, the best guy she could ever marry... if she ever wants to get married.

She thought of life after marriage; a future of obligations. And possibly a contract for life. Her personal dreams and goals have to be foregone even before they are realised. People told her good life awaits after marriage and that she could do whatever she wants after that. "Will my dreams wait?" she asked, "will life wait for me?"

"Can true love lasts after marriage? Or will marriage bring an obligation to love no matter how much the heart might have changed?"

These were the very questions she knew all her life. Why then, did she agree to it in the first place? It was because everyone around her, in this world, wants to get married.

It was because the man she was getting married to, is the best guy she could ever get to marry to. If she missed him this time, it may almost be certain it's forever... or until she fulfilled her dreams.

"3 years to accomplish all the things I ever want to do with my life," she told herself. But it may take longer.

It was then not a matter of who the man is, but if she ever wants marriage in the first place.

But who in this world ever wondered about that question? Everyone does the same. It's for the better in life.

It's human instinct? Or is it the pressure to conform to the rest of society?

Noone should live for others. Noone owes us a living and we don't owe anyone a living.

"True love doesn't ask and wouldn't doubt. If one ever questions about what is true love, he probably hasn't found it yet."


I knew my choice all along. I just have to make the decision which agrees with it.

Choices and decisions don't always go well together.

But I want to manage my life.

the party has just started

The first time Cinderella clubber got her fair share of clubbing experience...

"I don't think this can be anything fun," that very thought crossed my mind. We each got a bottle of Corona beer. We were just standing there in our threesome group, shouting into each other's ears to talk. "That's it?" I asked my sisters, "Is that all you do in a club, stand around with your own beer in your hands?"

Right. There was a live band and loads of people (a really huge proportion of foreigners compared to their population here and their SPG counterparts). Seats were taken and people were standing around the bar counter and every available space. Glances exchanged, accidental pushes and touches... I learned later it's all part of the game.

That was before 12 a.m.

When I was convinced somehow that I am just not a clubber and was prepared to leave anytime, my sister met her bunch of friends from her travel forum. Well, well...

So, having a curious mind and spirit to explore the real thing, I stayed on with no expectations at all.

I was set on being the introvert for the day since I didn't know anyone there. I was introduced to a few of them but I barely got their names. It was that noisy.

We got ourselves some space and seats and right, attempting to make small talks with the people around us. Most of them do speak with a foreign accent, which I realised later on that most of them aren't locals or had come back from abroad.

My sister asked me to the dancefloor but I was still uncomfortable opening up till a few songs later. I wasn't sure if my dancing was bad but I couldn't care less already. Some drunk girls were cuddling themselves with caucasians, spilling over drinks and knocking into everyone at the dancefloor. It wasn't unusual but I was mindful of not bumping into them. The guy friend with us was really spontaneous and that made it easier for us to really get into the groove. I have no idea why people enjoy taking photos in the club with people you barely know. Don't ask me.

There was a group of French on the dancefloor, what a rare find! However, it is not a good way to practise french! I tried but it was too noisy to figure out what was being said.

Up to a certain point, I was tired from dancing and getting really bored. I'm never into one-night acquaintances. That is just not me.

A girl was kind to take notice of that and asked me for a walk outside the club. She is a local who studied overseas; therefore, she carries an accent. We were chatting and found out that half of what was said at the club was not being conveyed. She appears to be a very sociable, seasoned clubber to me but she claimed she was bored too. Shortly, we went back to the club.

My sister is just a really adaptable creature; a side of her I haven't seen before. She is always up and about and asking people to the dancefloor.

In one night, I was talking to over 15 people; locals, foreigners who are doing their internships (including a french Orlando Bloom -alike) or working/studying here. We danced, talked and even shared a cab home though I still barely got their names.

I would say this was really eye-opening and it's fun to go occasionally, but it is not a good place to make friends.