start all over again

Start all over again.


It is hard to imagine how tough it is to make some decisions. 


Strangely, the choice can also become very clear.


I was stuck in a what-I-thought-to-be dilemma of making a decision. "Again?" I thought to myself of the familiar occasions when I had to deal with what seems like an obvious take-it-now option and the ideal-but-not yet-concrete situation. One part of me was contented enough to just accept the available option so I could end my search and go for a 'good enough' or  'acceptable' choice. Another part of me struggled with the possibility of missing out what could possibly be the ideal or better choice.


My mind went through rounds of thinking, each time emerging a different opinion of which option I should take. There is no win-win situation. There are definitely risks in both ways.


I took time to calm my mind and my heart down to think soundly. What do I really want?


Some thoughts floated back to me, reminding me of what I really have to do. I need a change, a new challenge, a new opportunity which allows me to move on. I have to make progression, advancement in what I do. I need to grow my character and become a stronger person. I have to be brave for a new and better me. 


What seemed acceptable before appeared to be the obvious wrong choice at this moment. It was an acceptable, comfortable option but... is this what I need? Is this what I want?


I know that uncertainty awaits, and I need to have patience. 


I believe that the better will be here, soon.