to be happy and selfish

it's not easy to commit to the decision.

but I did.

it was tough, not on coming to the decision but rather, after making the decision, thinking about the aftermath, the what-ifs.

and pondering over the possible indication of my self - my weaknesses.

the young generation these days are thought to be self-centred and unfortunately or fortunately, I'm one of the culprits. I love myself too much. I can't afford to let myself dread on my life, hating what I do each day. I want myself to be happy and enjoy every single thing I do. I say no to anything that threatens to bring dread into my daily life. I'm overprotective about myself and I would fend myself from anything that is going to murder my personality.

I am indeed selfish.

Everything is just about me, me, me.

I can't afford to let myself compromise to compelling reasons to stay on though they are realistic. indeed they are. but I can't. I just care too much about what I'm feeling and going through and I can't bear to see the worse which is impending.

and in this selfish world where there is no space for anyone else, all I could think about is how I feel. I don't think about how others would respond, as though they don't matter. I just can't.

It's my life's reflex to be selfish if that can be a reason. I just don't know how to stop caring about my own feelings.

if I can, then I may be able to live a life like everyone's else... turning a blind eye to my inner self & doing what is logically correct. also a time when I will stop questioning, thinking, feeling, breathing and living.