making sense of it all

I like to be in control. Take the front seat in my life. Make my plans and achieve my ends.

A control freak, at the same time, a wanderer. One who roams his life with no obligations, no definite answers. Do as the heart wants to. At his freewill. Only think of short-term plans for future is uncertain and faraway.

For some time, it seemed I have been living like this. Relishing life at full colour. A choice I would have been happy and contented with.

If this is a form of escapism, I admit I am.

Until that tiny part of me told me to let go, to come out of my comfort zone. I have been living too comfortable, far too comfortable - with little to worry for. I have little material wealth to speak of but my comfort comes from my state of content. A level of content that some warned is dangerous. Nevertheless, a state of content I would say some people spent the rest of their lives without.

The carefree soul, the Jack Sparrow in us.

Like Jack, without a care, life is never about future. Like him, I have been driving on my little roadtrip and singing like a silly man.

Only I am not in a movie. I am here in a place where we are always reminded that nothing is ever enough, noone can ever be satisfied.

Boo. But that is reality.

I can come up with tonnes of reasoning not to follow reality but I am pathetic human... a being that succumbed too easily.

I have too given up an easy life to confront reality. If I say dreams can be postponed, that is a lie. Dreams don't wait as like life don't wait for anyone. Nothing waits.

The realist says: Wake up! Dreams are lies. Fantasies. Distractions from reality.

I am imprisoned in a bag of obligations. The stakes are high. Fate is sealed.

I am thrown into a rollercoaster ride, bound to my seat till my journey ends.