my life

so what's up and about lately?

I haven't got the space to take a pause from the daily life, take a breather, a second to see myself in the reflection. had some frustrations at work, cooled down and found peace with myself and yet again, frustrated... this time with work. it's just part and parcel of working life, some ups and downs everyone faced. but for the second time, I simply can't shrug it off as a norm. it's a problem with me... can I cope? can I manage? am I right for the job or is the job right for me? struggles with a first job. as much as my friends try to comfort me that I'm new and needs time to get the hang of things, but I can no longer tolerate excuses for myself. am I dumb?

or is my inner perfectionist acting up? I have too much dignity and pride to speak of, self-centred and care too much about how I feel. I tried to shove away negativity with optimism that things will work out in the end. but even as I allow my patience to sink in, not everyone else would. some realistic assessment of the real working world.

to think that years ago, I have always wished to grow up faster and get out of that school uniform... how I used to have dreams and hopes about the future.

Now I'm in it.

I just received a note to write on my hobby, wishes for the new year. I got a little excited thinking about the wonderful things in life.

but when I got down to write, I thought those are just my hopes, wishes and ideals...

how far away are they?

no, not far... at least I took my first step.