no reservations

Once again, the baton is now in my hands.

Yes or no.

Do it or not do it.

"Something is holding you back, you need to let go," that line still lingers after our hour-long conversation. I know that for a long time, didn't I? I wish to explain, "that has become a habit, or rather, an integral of my personality". It's almost something that comes along with me - a semi-secretive, semi-extrovert, semi-introvert me - like a door left half-opened. I don't know how to explain it. I was caught in the middle, tongue-tied, at a loss of what to say. It's just me. I can't change it... (or can I?)

I find it so hard to explain myself that it's almost impossible to tell.

Prends-moi tel que je suis.

Is that an opportunity given? Cos all I feel is I have yet another choice to make... a choice which requires to see a change in me, or so they told me.

"I have to change."

If it is a habit I could change, perhaps it would be easier... all it takes is some time. If it is a marking engraved in my personality, I can't possibly erase it just like that, like it was never there.

Is it really as easy as they thought to push that door wide-open?